When you are a kid , integrity becomes seamless because there is no gap between crying and comfort , being and need are one . But as you grow up distance dwells between words and actions , integrity gets fractured and trust becomes transactional .

The gap between words and actions is widened by enabling of our wicked ambitions , fear and manipulative demeaner .

The moment you pursue your sinful goals , you only look at the goal post and nothing else matters to you . Your wicked ambitions is subtle poison which disguises itself as nectar .

It promises you glory at the end yet erodes your soul during the entire journey . The vision turns myopic , focusing only on the goalpost not the other aspect around it which are suffering due to your actions .

The corrupt desire hollows you from within , from tainting one’s deed to distorting your vision of others. He who always schemes maintains no integrity and also does believe in integrity elsewhere . He only sees the image of his own treachery everywhere .

Sincerity appears as disguise, loyalty as strategy, kindness as manipulation. Mistrust becomes the foundation of his character not because other’s wrongful deed but he would no longer recognize truth and loyalty when it would right in front of him .

The fear of inadequacy serves as a fuel for burning the bridges of trust . The man with restless ambition always looks everyone else as rivals who are eagerly ready to exploit his weakness .

Every counsel looks like a hidden strategy , every show of loyalty looks like betrayal . He doesn’t fear of being defeated alone , but being outnumbered and outmaneuvered in the very game he himself corrupts. Trust is basically distorted into liability by fear .

He uses mistrust as his shield to protect himself . Every companion is tested , every word is dissected and every promise is weighed against betrayal . This constant vigilance feels like a strength and paranoia turns into security . The shield he carries breaks every bond , relation he had which earlier held his world together .

He would observe the wealth gathering around him , people obeying his instruction & army marching forward . His army men may fight but without any conviction , his minsters may speak but with fear , his friends may stay but with resentment .

When the crisis strike , what he thought of them as his guardian will look at him as cautious bystanders . There may be many swords , but hearts behind them are divided . He would see his kingdom dissolve in front of his eyes despite having the best of the men but each man had resentment in their heart .

Slowly the grandeur of his illusions would fall and no one would be with him to share the ruins and hold the weight of the defeat .He would realize he was abandoned long before he lost , he was naked all along despite having the strongest armor .

“He who does not trust enough will not be trusted.”
(Letters from a Stoic)